Potty training can be a major event.  Some parents have it easier, don’t compare your experience to theirs.  Different kids do different things and we have to be creative parents sometimes.  I try to be patient, and I try to meet them where they are capable of being.

For some kids, bodily waste isn’t gross enough to care about it. They don’t see anything wrong with what they produce.  I tell myself, they will grow out of this…one day…for now, they are still tots, and we are still in typical tot mode.

If you are searching the internet for the fail proof way to potty train, well that holy grail doesn’t exist.  The experts (and most parents) know this, but want to comfort parents and try their hardest to work with them.

I realize that we get a lot of pressure to potty train early.  I constantly heard, from the generation before, that children should be trained by 2yrs old.  I took a stand, and I reminded myself that it was a different time.  It’s my opinion, that different generations have different needs or even agendas.  Now, people are embracing different things.  We are easing up and striving to do more than just survive and stay “in line” with the old rules.  I believe my generation is seeing that the old ways don’t need to be duplicated, today. We can forget what we were told about potty training.  Besides, I don’t think it was easier for all of our parents to follow strict ideas.

Some things to consider before attempting to potty train:

1.       Your ability to communicate with your child

2.       Major changes occurring within the household

3.       Other challenges your child is facing

4.       In general, are you and your child ready for committing to potty training 

5.       Talk about the potty, poopoo,  and peepee before potty training  

6.      Know that another parent’s successful potty training experience, has so much to do with their    child’s individual decisions, and personality traits.

Here’s how I started:

-My boys weren’t interested in the normal “big” toilet.  I tried everything, but  finally settled on two plain white little pottys.  The simpler pottys worked the best for us.  Plus, they could draw on them, which helped to keep them seated…The musical seats distracted them, they didn’t like the fake flushing noise, they didn’t like the little seats you place on the toilet, and I realized they were pinched by some of the removable pots in the pottys.

–Placement of their pottys was important.  I tried to keep the pottys in the bathroom.  That didn’t work for us.  The boys didn’t like to be in a smaller room and it was harder to encourage them to stay.  So, true to our odd ways, the pottys were placed in the livingroom.  I treated these things like awesome new toys.  I talked to the boys about how they worked.  Eventually, they wanted to try out their pottys.  They asked me to help them and I stayed with them.  I was their cheerleader and morale support.  It’s my experience, that some children want a parent to be around while acclimating to something new. I ended up making these pottys like furniture.  Yes. I.did.  They get bored with these things, so you do what you have to do.  In the beginning, they even got a little snack while watching a show.  The point was to help them to connect the dots.  Once they realized that pee pee in the potty helped them to stay dry, they also realized they liked that dry feeling. Plus, potty time was fun- not isolating and boring for them.  However, I couldn’t leave the house much while trying to encourage them to use their pottys.  It can be an isolating time for a parent. Oh, and when people were around, I moved the pottys to my room.  I didn’t want them exposed to anyone, besides it’s not really a social activity. 

–I made a big deal out of the successes.  I clapped my hands and congratulated them.  I hugged them and told them they did a good job going potty. They looked so proud, or maybe they thought I was crazy. Either way, it worked.

-We speak about potty related activities.  It’s one of their favorite topics and it’s disgusting…My point is, I made it a normal activity and I tried to normalize the accidents (The normalizing was mainly for myself.  They were fine with the accidental puddles.)

 Backtracking happens

Then, they rebelled and I almost lost my mind.  I mean I had to go back to diapers, which was hard because they would take off their dirty diapers. Wild animals don’t do what they did.  I backtracked with them, to a point. Here’s what I did:

–          Diapers for sleeping at night and during naptime.

–          After I kiss them goodnight, I remind them that I will change their diapers so that they will feel clean. I remind them a lot, because they usually give me a fraction of their attention.  They might hear a few words (even adults have a hard time actively listening, so it’s fair that children struggle with listening).

–          After putting them down for naptime or bedtime, I close their door, wait until the room is quiet, and check to see if they need a diaper change.  I check on them until they use their diapers or until they fall asleep.  I had to pay close attention, so that I was in that room before the diapers came off.  This was another commitment.  Happily, I can say they have stopped removing their diapers. However, I still keep up my end of the bargain.

–          When the diapers came off (in the past, for us), they saw that I strongly disapproved of the diaper mess. I try not to shame them, ever.  Some people have their children help clean the mess. In our crazy case, they would have seen this as a reward (no, I never encouraged it). I cleaned the mess myself.

–          I kept the routine, so that they could trust that I would clean them.

–         No diapers when awake and out of the room. This was a commitment.  For awhile, all big toilets scared them.  They are loud and some have sensors that trigger them to flush randomly on their own. So, the public restroom was an insane experience for anyone in the there with the three of us.  One tot running and screaming encouraged the other to do the same. It’s not a good look. There were days when we didn’t leave the house… again. If we went to see family or friends, I brought their pottys.  

This routine started to work out well.  They didn’t like to do poopoo in the potty and I believe that’s why we backtracked.  I let the boys lead the way, somewhat.  If they show curiosity in the real toilet, we go check it out.  Sometimes they even feel daring and use it! This is naturally happening more…

So, that is my take on it.  No magic or rules to follow.  Happy trails!