Teaching happens everyday. A lot of us are pathfinding for a way to do this consistently and consciously everyday.

We may not realize how much we teach our children everyday.  My aim is to stay aware of what I teach my boys.  This isn’t a perfect science, but I try to do little things.

The boys are curious about everything. They love toy trucks, vacuums, and food. They also want to know about shapes, planets, the Spanish language, etc. Childhood is both magical and full of wonder. Teaching as a way to play with children is as natural for me as breathing. Sometimes, I can even integrate little facts with favorite characters or sayings we joke around with- I try to be creative.

Little things I do:

• Use bath crayons to write numbers, letters, and shapes on bathroom tile. Bath time has involved toy boats and singing the alphabet song. The boys enjoy counting the sides of the shapes and quizzing each other. We are all teachers!
• Sing. I started singing to my oldest as a way to calm him. When it began to get his attention, I started to sing about everything- brushing teeth, potty time, the months, whatever. FYI, I can’t sing a single note. I think that helps to make them laugh and to listen. I mean it probably isn’t easy listening, no sleeping. Who cares, I love to see them laugh and to not take themselves too seriously.
• Use a poster. I put a poster of the planets in their bathroom. They see it, and talk about it. The bathroom is a great place to notice things. There aren’t too many other things or people to distract the learning process. Potty training is like an open door, for quieter learning.
• Connect things. Here’s an example– “Everyone shares sometimes. Even trucks have to share the road with other vehicles.” “Everything needs food. People eat vegetables. Trucks get gas or diesel or electricity. We all need energy.” Both of the boys told me cows eat salad.
• Videos. That tube on the internet is great for sharing videos made for kids. So many videos are great for learning about animals, the ocean, shapes, anything.
• Start early or teach how to do research. Simply, I’ve embraced the boys’ inquisitive minds, but I also want them to embrace looking stuff up on their own, and discerning what they find. They are young now, but we can still plant seeds for growth. When the boys ask me a question I don’t have the answer to, I tell them “I don’t know”. Then, “let’s look it up.” I get the book or the laptop and they watch. I feel this is important. In my experience, most people don’t look up information on their own. In a way, I understand. Can we even truly get unadulterated information on anything? I think we should still try to inform ourselves.
• The body, emotions, and babies. Right now, the boys don’t feel shy or embarrassed about their bodies. I embrace that by talking to them about male and female bodies. They know how babies are born. The human body is remarkable. There is a reason why people respond to each other in a physical way. We are awesome. Plus, understanding our bodies is empowering. By teaching my boys, I choose what they learn and the impression they have- to an extent. My aim is only that they feel no shame. We also talk about emotions. I ask them what they feel. “Do you feel sad? Does your body feel tired?” We talk about our emotions so that they can learn how to process the way they feel. This is actually one of the few things, the boys have been slower to understand. They tend to react fast. I’ve put this in the same bullet because, emotions, the body, and babies become related.
• I mix “girl” and “boy” colors and stuff. Some people try to raise their children in a gender-neutral way. In my opinion, gender neutral colors and stuff always look…male. Can we really take the gender out of life? Why even try? Mix it. Isn’t that a little more inclusive? My boys don’t care about girl or boy labels. They bang their trucks around, attempt to raid my makeup (because getting into colors is fun and messy), ride around on a giant pink Pegasus, and play in mud. They enjoy flowers AND the dirt they grown in. I’ve never told them they couldn’t do or like something based on gender. Anything a girl can do a boy can do too (and of course vice versa). AND, all colors are inherently neutral.
• Friendliness and park etiquette. Lessons in life can be taught at a playground, easily. We practice saying “Hi” because, a whole path in life can start with a single word…easier said than done? Nah.
We practice inclusion. Your crew doesn’t have to look anything like you. Simply making eye contact and smiling can alter the feel of the entire experience. In my experience, many parents have had those awkward moments among other parents at a park…but why? A park should be a safe place to play and learn, especially when it’s just the kids and us. Let’s show our kids how to interact by interacting too because, we are a crew… the guardians and kids crew…
• Communicate exactly what you mean with age appropriate words or by teaching new words. I had to practice this because I have been used to talking with adults.
• I thought about the things and habits I thought would be useful to them as adults. I practice certain habits with them now- making time to rest, walking outside, mindfully breathing (meditating- for me this was very important so, I started a routine with them when they where infants. Before bedtime, I used to lay them down on me and silently let them feel my belly rise and fall. As they have gotten older we have begun to sit criss- cross apple sauce. For a time, they became restless and full of giggles. It was fun to watch them peek at each other, but I didn’t want to force anything on them. So, I stopped. They began asking to “breathe” again so we have started again.

Another habit I hope to instill, is that they see themselves as their own authority figures for truth. I don’t quote other people or books as answers. I simply talk about stuff and mention different people with different ideas. I ask them how they feel about something. They are young, but it’s all about forming habits.

• Did I mention we talk about emotions? This is so important, because this really seems to be the thing that trips them up the most. Honestly, I am always looking for information on teaching the boys about their feelings.
• Kindness. I’m a petite girly female in a very masculine family. I can get lost easily in a crowd. Tact has never been useful. I’m not one for everyone’s sensitivities either. So, when I say Kind, I never mean ‘be nice’. Kindness is true, but not for the sake of allowing other people to be less than who they are. Kindness is mindful but not a doormat. Kindness is neither hateful nor dishonest. For me, kindness implies authenticity, not niceness (which can be faked for the sake of whatever) I realize this can sound tricky to some people. Sometimes, we want to sit in a particular perspective that keeps us lower than who we are. We can feel like a victim and sometimes we even turn this into a tool against other people.  My hope is that the boys hold onto their truth and raise people throughout their lives…even in adversity.

Be safe during the new year celebrations.