The more technological we become, the more lines are blurred. For example, people ask things like, “How do I protect my child, while they are online? How do I know what they are doing? Is addiction to gaming real? Can they become addicted to their smartphones? Is it a problem that they watch programs wherever they go? What age is too young for a phone, because all the other kids have one?”
These questions can really only be answered by you, but here is what I have noticed:
When I see young people (or most people) online, they are usually doing one of three things- 1) trying to connect with someone2) looking for answers or 3) engaging in a daydream (or disengaging in what is actually happening). Sure, there are other activities… and no, these activities aren’t inherently negative, to a point. In many ways, that point has been reached when we are simply using technology as a way to remove ourselves from what is happening right now.
It has become a casual pastime to remove ourselves.
My observations, and many of you have noticed this too:
Our devices seem to let us alter our lives, in some ways. We don’t have to actually do much. What is the point, then? Does life involve much more?
It’s my experience, that children are natural doers.
When they don’t have the ability to do something, or when they don’t feel like they can do much, they seem to be great at finding another way to live out making human connection, finding answers or daydreaming. I’m not saying kids need another sport to play. I am saying kids need the time to figure out their own actions and to be supported. The internet can be great for all of that, in moderation. Yet, there seems to be a line. Sometimes, I wonder if we are made less connected and less fulfilled by having such an easy default, like social media or various games, for example.
What to do?
It can be as simple as a hike, inviting friends to your place, walking in the neighborhood, finding a hobby, taking little trips, or getting involved in a group, organization, or in the community. Interacting and communicating with people (minus the screen) is important and how we create memories. Our kids won’t need to daydream on the “What ifs” if they are actually doing/ planning.
It feels good to escape, but it feels better to reengage in each other.
Sometimes, I wonder if what we are teaching…is how to be distracted…then we get frustrated with our kids nonstop phone use…but it’s not our fault.
It was kind of set up that way…our busy lives were supposed to become easier. Instead, life stayed similar with long work weeks, made longer because our emails come at us like text messages, along with all of the social media apps that have taken over our phones. Naturally, we look to technology to “free” us. Well, fake free us. We can change that…
Allowing ourselves to be distracted from the doing in life, is easy because we are tired and we believe the B.S. I don’t want any part of that for my sons. They are young now, and it is a challenge to even get them in the car (one of them makes it a point to never easily put his shoes on), but I make it a practice to do things with them. My hope is that they live out their lives with action and real people. Our children are facing things in their future that can greatly alter human history. The more advanced we become, the more we need to learn how to be balanced. Have ease but maintain physicality and keep growing our hearts. Know when to breathe first, know when to react. Discern and to see what isn’t being said…no more robotic behavior with the shrug of our shoulders.
What if we didn’t need technology to help us escape? Would we be doing something bigger, instead?
We live in a world with nuclear bombs, but we give our power and money to companies who produce devices to augment reality.
Can we really afford to disengage? It only requires baby steps…maybe we have other people in our lives for a reason. We all have something we can contribute- to make life become like our dreams. It only takes baby steps.
Examples of baby steps (for change)
Step 1) Lets become reacquainted with each other! Let’s remember what it’s like to stir up our emotions, and the butterflies in our stomachs. Let’s be excited, again. Have you ever felt the power in a group? Have you ever been with someone you felt love for, the true love stuff? That is what drives us! Feel again! Physical interaction breeds power and creativity. We remember that we aren’t alone. If we look to our own examples- the relationships we have had that drove us, that raised us up to who we actually are…
Just to talk about it…fear can be motivating, but that can’t be sustained. Our fear needs so much destructive energy that eventually nothing is left of us- so then what’s the point, if we end up destroyed or so changed anyway?
2) Our children benefit from being around other children. Let’s be active participants in teaching them how to interact. This also helps us.
3) Daydream with each other. Let’s talk with our friends and families about what we wish life was like. This plants seeds and we start asking questions. The more we build our argument, the braver we feel.
4) Remember our heart.
5) Remember that there is nothing wrong in seeing the change.
6) Remember that there is nothing wrong in being the change.
7) Imagine that we all have a role- nothing is too small, or more important.
8) Use technology as the tool that it is. Forget partaking in a divisive nature. If something is happening online, and it makes you feel bad- I would suggest, taking your attention away from it. If someone hurts you on a social media account, don’t put your attention there. These machines can be turned off, and our accounts can be deleted. Period. We pay too much money for these gadgets, to allow reoccurring pain.
Technology can be awesome, once we learn how to use it as a tool. At the moment, it seems to be taking us away from each other, with only a mere mask and look of connection.
Let’s reconnect with people and our kids, because what we do matters- it’s the physical proof in a love letter to someone we love, to our children, and most importantly to ourselves. Doing is the substance in our words.
