Most of us had/ have parents who tried to explain how much more we have than previous generations with the, “when I was your age I had to walk barefoot uphill both ways in the snow” talk.  It kind of felt like some weird competition and it was annoying. It didn’t seem relevant to right now, and so some of us tuned out.

Further down the page, I have listed ways I try to teach gratefulness. It’s about relevancy and honesty (without story telling).

Showing a child how different we live from one neighborhood to another is a start.  We can extend this by explaining how other people live in various parts of the word, because our poverty looks different from poverty in places like Africa or India, the Middle East or even Central America, etc.

Why does any of this matter? Why teach gratefulness? 

Mainly to become aware of: 1. The false feeling that there is always something more to need -which is fueled by a lack of understanding 2. To dismantle fear of not having or losing something 3. To see the tools and resources we actually do have 4. In many areas of the world, there is a lack of community possibly due to fears of not getting ahead (so working excessively), etc.…the list really could go on.

It’s like the accidental message is, chronic dissatisfaction will get you ahead.  Honestly, I think there is more to it…on some level, I think most of us know we deserve more…

Maybe it isn’t chronic dissatisfaction that drives people to work so much.  Maybe we are simply dazzled by all of the nice things dangled in front of us…most of it selling for big numbers… Obviously, we are taught to excel at work so that we can afford the luxuries, but I still find myself troubled by our current examples.  I do think people should have what they want and we do deserve to be happy…everyone…that’s where I get uneasy…the mix between some people having a lot, and others having so little, yet most of us work long hours for our employers (or wish we had work)and it’s never quite enough…and the cycles go on…

And then there’s our individual perceptions of everything to make it all cloudy. Sometimes, we get stuck in low feelings and our sight is affected…

I have discovered that gratefulness is more than a feeling.  It can become a tool, because through feeling gratefulness, our sight becomes clearer (Is this another weird thing I’m writing? Well, it’s all been true for me.)

Ways I try to teach my boys gratefulness:

1. We discuss the homelessness they see on the streets.  I don’t pretend those individuals are invisible.  I don’t pretend to know that they did something wrong, to be living on the streets.
2. I make them aware of what other people experience in their country. I don’t try to make the boys feel bad for what they have in their lives.
3. I use words like grateful.
4. I show them what I find online about other countries (social issues, etc.) and intend on traveling with them (when I don’t need car seats anymore. Yes, I do think this talk can start early. Plant seeds in their minds, now).
5. I ask them questions, when I see that something is registering. I want them to practice being engaged and involved in a discussion.
6. I tell them that they already have everything they need inside of them and I put my hand over their heart.
7. We practice saying thank you.
8. I respect what they say, to encourage them.
9. I don’t judge a person’s life by saying words like, “good, “bad”. People can be and are okay with having no possessions. More than once, I have had people say to me, that are very happy in their current situation (with very little).  My own past perception was that if a person has almost nothing, they must feel unhappy. That’s wrong.

There are three activities that give me a sense of peace and wellbeing- writing, a quiet room to go to when needed, and consciously engaging in people (specifically children). Two of these activities allow me to contribute, and one allows me to hear myself. None of it are things that can be bought…

I know this much, everything can go away tomorrow.  I also know that all of my gains have involved other people.  I didn’t do much truly on my own. I respect that where I stand may shape how I “swim” and how people receive me. Though it doesn’t define me, I am grateful for where I am in my life.

Gratefulness is BIG.