Are you brand new to the life altering world of Parenthood? Welcome. Breathe. It’s major but, you’ll see it’s going to be alright. It’s really about getting into new habits.
Below, are my thoughts on stuff to have and stuff to forget. There are also some things to learn:
- Have you educated yourself on SIDS. Sudden Infant Death is still a valid topic. Researchers are still largely unclear about how it occurs. There are only theories. Some key points are to avoid loose bedding like blankets, use bedding that isn’t fluffy, no pillows. Avoid crib bumpers unless they are the breathable type. Fitted sheets should be tight around the mattress. The simpler the better. The idea is to make sure the newborn can’t accidently become trapped (and suffocate) in bedding. As your baby grows and becomes stronger, the bedding becomes less of an issue. I encourage you to read more on this topic.
- Bottles. There are a variety of different types of bottles. If you plan on breastfeeding, you may never use a bottle. My boys rejected them unless they knew I wasn’t home, which was rare, at that time. My point is to try not to go crazy over bottles. It may be a needless cost.
- Breast pumps. Insurance covered mine. If you don’t have insurance or if it doesn’t cover your cost, do your research and make sure there isn’t another way to get one. Years ago, I saw various options. Ask your doctor. It was my experience that the pumps are not all the same. You get what you pay for, with this product. I tried The brand known for making pumps and the less expensive alternative-a brand also known….That most known, more expensive brand lasted and worked much better. When you think about how much people pay for formula, a breast pump will most likely pay for itself, in the long run. If you are able, it’s worth paying for it. If you absolutely must. Oh and here’s another thought, my body was so in tune to the boys that I almost never used the milk I had pumped for reserve. If you are breast feeding and don’t purchase a pump, consider having something else on reserve. Check expiration dates, occasionally… BTW, exclusively breastfeeding does Wonders for your weight loss! Our babies take an average of 600 calories from us. That means (-) 600 calories a day off our bodies! Do make sure you get enough food in your own body. You’ll need the energy especially in the first few weeks of nightly feedings
- It may be helpful to educate yourself now on FOOD. How do you plan on introducing food into your child’s life? Remember that nuts, and honey are off limits for a while. A pediatrician told me to avoid giving my sons water, while I was nursing them, so that the nutrients in the breastmilk wouldn’t become diluted. Even if you use formula, water isn’t typically recommended for babies. Anyway, after the boys had a year of my milk, I mushed up, blended, smashed everything. Everything went into the blender or coffee grinder (for smaller food, like while making baby cereal). Looking back, I should have spent the money on a higher quality food processor. Oh, and think about avoiding things like sugar and salt, for the first 2 years. It may seem like a long time, it goes fast. In the long run, it does help to shape your child’s palette for healthier food. Be firm with people as needed. One of the craziest things I experienced was the backlash I had from people. The same people who told me, “It’s great how you feed them.,” also brought over the candy and ice-cream- pouting and saying things like, “Oh, did I do something wrong? Come on, it’s just a little bit of sugar.” Some people choose not to understand what you are doing, for your child.
- If you are going to make your own baby food, a good blender is so helpful. I hated the idea of spending that kind of money on such a boring thing but, I would have saved so much time and avoided a lot of hassle. Plus, you can continue to use it as your kid grows, for things like popsicles, or orange juice and ginger shots- the super healthy non- alcoholic stuff.
- Storage containers. If you plan on making your own baby food, consider getting stuff that is freezer safe. The microwave isn’t a great way to heat up food but if you love a microwave, it’s probably a good idea to make sure your containers are microwave safe too. Remember that lids aren’t always microwavable. The boys have had a low tolerance for heat. I became accustomed to letting most things sit on the counter to become room temperature. They even eat a lot of things cold or frozen, like peas. No nutrients lost in the cooking process! Plus, cooking isn’t always needed! One more thing, plastics release toxins in microwaves (Styrofoam too). Consider glass or other materials. Consider looking for BPA free products.
- Water dispensers with water filters. Not all water filters are the same, some remove more lead while others don’t remove any lead. Do your research, if you are considering these items. Consider looking for BPA free products.
- Day dream now, about the ways you can encourage traits/ skills you feel are important, like independence, self-care, community, or taking care of the Earth. The idea is to not lecture too much, as children grow. One thing I try to encourage is self-sufficiency. The boys are happy to help me cook and to prepare simple meals. So, I encourage them by making the kitchen a more child friendly spot. They know that the stove is off limits but, they can get their own water and make their own sandwiches. As they grow, they will continue to learn more recipes and learn how to use more of the kitchen gadgets. As your child grows you can encourage them by noticing what they gravitate towards—it may be the yard. A lot of kids enjoy gardening if it is made simple. Even the garage can be a point of interest. The boys like learning about the vehicles and tools. Sometimes, it’s the basic knowledge or life skills that we need the most, in life.
- Diaper bags. In the beginning you may feel like you need to be prepared for everything. Depending on the outing, I didn’t bring much with the intention of caring it around, in a bag. It’s hot here and I like feeling the breeze, not a heavy bag. A diaper, wipes, milk, maybe an extra onsie, small toy and blanket was usually way more than enough. As the boys have gotten a little older, water and an extra under wear and shorts is it. If they want anything else, they carry it. It helps when our children learn to be self-sufficient and to eat when appropriate for the household. Be careful with snacking, as a way to soothe a child.
- Baby proofing your home. The most helpful gadgets were the cabinet locks, gates (to block areas or stairs), using the existing locks on doors, and the caps you put on the pointed corners, of furniture. The boys were intrigued by the outlet covers and quickly gravitated to the outlets. They easily popped off the covers.
- Baby monitors. I was determined to set the habit of my children sleeping in their own rooms- not mine. I don’t sleep easy and I appreciate my space, at night. I used the monitors because they gave me peace of mind and I would let myself fall asleep. I also know many parents that didn’t bother with monitors. Will you be able to rest without being able to view your child on a screen? Will they be sleeping with you or, in their own rooms?
- What do you know about a child’s cognitive and physical development? It’s not a bad idea to flip through some books, that you vibe with…Consider looking over different websites… There’s some good stuff to know….People vary on how to approach parenthood, go with what feels right to you (forget expectations). Ultimately, you and your child will figure it out together.
- My oldest lion cub slept through the night, if he was swaddled. I didn’t use the muslin blankets because, he never stayed snug in those. His arms and legs would jerk up (Moro Reflex) and he would wake up. I used the “Miracle Blanket”. I hate to mention brands but, it was that major for me, and my new found sleep. Be careful to not overdress your baby. They tend to over- heat easy. The boys lived in onsies for the first 2yrs because that is how they were most comfortable. If you are planning on swaddling your child in muslin blankets, learn how to do it properly, to avoid issues with the hips and other problems with loose material around your child. As your baby begins to move, avoid swaddles, so they can begin to develop muscle strength. People debate on how long is too long to swaddle a child. Some people say to stop at 2 months while others, say its fine and common to swaddle until closer to 9 months. My oldest was comforted by swaddling so, I continued for much longer than 2 months. My youngest son hated to be swaddled. He was happy to simply be in a onsie, while sleeping through the night. Your child will let you know.
- Car seats. Do the research on these things and check the expiration date on the one you purchase. I have heard of people buying brand new car seats that had expired dates.
- Clothes. For some reason, baby clothes are made with similar styles as our clothes. Personally, the simpler the clothes, the more comfortable I think it must be for our infants. Extra details may be uncomfortable for a child who is still sleeping a lot. High collars, buttons running down the back or big designs that are not flat against the body, would seem uncomfortable to me. Unless your child is a devoted fashionista at 3 months, he/she may feel fussy over simply being uncomfortable or overly warm. Onsies should not be underestimated or looked down upon. Infants are spending a lot of their time becoming sleep experts and, rest time is important.
- Baby detergent. Once you start paying attention to the labels on products (and food) you’ll probably notice that most products are actually very similar with one difference, the marketing. If you educate yourself on the chemicals/ chemical reactions, you will see even more clearly that even “clean” or healthier brands may not be much different from everything else. Generally speaking, if your baby truly needs a different detergent, you may also need to change how you wash your clothes, as well. Most people don’t realize that their clothes could also cause reactions or sensitivities to their baby’s skin/body. So, they buy these special baby detergents and only ever wash the baby’s clothes in these baby detergents. So, to sum this up: A. Most detergents are all the same. B. If your baby is truly having a reaction to the detergent, it is likely that everything you launder will have to be washed with something different- not just the baby’s stuff. C. Do your best and if you are inclined, make your own detergent. Maybe you will reset the standards and we would all feel inclined to purchase your detergent. No, I haven’t found any special detergents in the stores but, there are a lot of individuals who are experimenting with their own recipes, and writing about it online.
- Baby psoriasis. Dry, red patchy skin seems common with babies. Baby lotions can be purchased in stores and is usually very effective. Most babies don’t really need a doctor to prescribe anything.
- Prescriptions/ colic/acid reflux. When my oldest son was an infant, he cried most of the time. This used to be called Colic. Now, some pediatricians assume that it is Acid Reflux with or without all of the right symptoms. Then, out comes the prescription pad. I was told by a pharmacist, that the medication used to treat Acid Reflux is very potent. This pharmacist advised against this medication for an infant. In his opinion, it was best to just let my son grow out of possible acid reflux. When I chose not to medicate my son, it caused me to desperately look for other ways to soothe him—that was when we discovered books and strolling around the neighborhood. He was only 2 months but, he loved those activities and it did soothe him. Obviously, he didn’t have Acid Reflux. My point is, carefully consider the advice your pediatrician offers and decline if needed. If your baby isn’t losing weight or if development isn’t slowing down, somehow- then stand by your opinion and don’t be swayed. The decision to medicate should be taken more seriously.
- Books. We started out with colorful word books. I made funny faces, used different voices and, pointed to pictures to match the word sounds, to associate the meaning. I want them to appreciate books/knowledge, and to not be intimidated by any kind of book or, source of information.
- Strollers. I hated the big bulky heavy car seat/ stroller sets. I bought a light stroller to push the boys around (until I had to succumb to the double stroller. Lion cubs really need to be secured in public.). If you have one baby, truly consider the weight of a stroller. You’ll feel less worn down by the sheer weight of everything babies need. Do consider strolling around with your baby. Show him/ her the world. This was also another way I lost weight fast- by pushing the boys around in their strollers.
- Baby hats/swimwear. For the boys,I used floppy baby hats and long sleeve swim shirts that resemble rash guards. Sunscreen isn’t recommended for babies but, it is still important to have some kind of UV protection. This is true for ALL skin tones. The boys have continued to use rash guards and hats, as they grow. I may put a little sunscreen on their face, ears, neck and legs, now. I really don’t like sunscreen but, I can’t completely escape it, in our climate.
- Toys. If you plan on buying toys, consider toys that have bright colors with a variety of textures. Children also tend to like baby mirrors, why wouldn’t they! The boys also liked bright colorful books, as infants.
- Noise makers. These things make me laugh. In my experience, if a lion cub kid is having a rough night, noise makers only make things worse. Looking back, I think these things can add to over stimulation. A child who is overly stimulated by the environment, benefits more from silence. Not crashing wave noise, delicate rain drops, or white noise. Online, I have seen these things offered up as remedies. Personally, I don’t know anyone who ever suggested that noise makers were game changers. Lion cub kids like to be held, softly sang too, or to be given a little warm milk. I think this is a cost you can cut.
- Baby furniture/decor. Be careful with the amount of baby furniture you start out with…for the time being, you have no idea what kind of animal your child will grow into. Some of us have rabbit leverets, others of us will have monkey infants and lion cubs- neither of which do well with furniture of any kind, for a long time. All of the furniture I have bought the boys has been taken apart, modified and turned into…art(?), “huts” and “trucks”. In my opinion, you can take it slow with the furniture and décor. Otherwise, you could be left to figure out what to do to make things safer or left trying to figure out where to store it, in the house. Most children don’t care as much about furniture. They care about having fun.
- Creating time for baby. I know most of us always try to make time to play with our kids. It’s important for many reasons. As a friend, I would say always make play time the priority. The time we have with our kids is over in a blink. Then, they enter the crazy world we have all created together. Parents are left to trust that we have helped to create a stable, solid foundation from which are children can continue to build. When you were a child, what were your favorite toys? What was your pretend world?
- Cradle cap silicone brush. Babies can develop a whitish or yellowish crust on their head. Using this brush will help to delicately remove the cradle cap, as you bathe them.
- Making the Tough Decisions to alter your life. Are your heart strings being pulled? Is there something you want to change? This is a general question but, I want to encourage you to follow your heart. The world is not made for children but, maybe you can find ways to make things different for your child- It can be little baby step things. Keep it doable. Changes in your life don’t have to be major…I strongly feel that the more parents allow their lives to be altered, out of love, the more we help to change the world for the better. We can all do something small, to be a new example.
Let your child help to guide you, talk to her/him, observe her/him. Allow your child the privilege of helping you to shape her life. The irony is that many parents, including myself, begin to see how children contribute so much to our lives as well. My children brought me back to myself.
Honor your children by being true to yourself. Show them what is good enough for them by letting them see what is good enough for you.
Listen to your heart and know you’ve got this…