Women can feel so much pressure with regards to breastfeeding.

Let me be your cheerleader and I will sum up my experience and thoughts on this topic.

A year ago, I told someone in my family to nurse if it was right for her. It’s the best option, for nutrition. Personally, I don’t trust the name “Formula”. However, there are countless reasons why a woman wouldn’t breastfeed (society and public opinion, being the first two reasons).Oh, and here is a little advice. Ignore most of the people who say they breastfed. No one could give me advice and all of them admitted (later) that they had stopped after a couple of weeks. I’m writing this because there is no reason to feel guilt. People do stop nursing their kids, because they aren’t supported.

I felt very strongly about nursing the boys. I don’t know why formula bothers me so much. Maybe it was because I was a baby with “colic.” My mom said that after she took me off formula and gave me regular cow milk, my crying suddenly stopped. My grandmother insisted that it was what people did before formula was manufactured and sold in stores.I’m not an advocate for cow milk or formula or whatever. Formula just bothers me, but not using formula also altered my life. Let me explain. I couldn’t seem to produce enough milk without my sons nursing on a very set schedule. The boys preferred to be rolly polly full, and didn’t move much after eating, while sticking their tongues out from lack of room. Some of you may know this look. They didn’t go more than 2 hours at a time (a doctor told me she breastfed three times a day after a certain weight was reached. Her children had to adjust, but they didn’t waste time eating. There is definitely more than one way to do this.)

I tried to use a top of the line pump, to help have extra milk, so that they wouldn’t have to nurse. 1) That awesome pump never seemed to drain me completely so, 2) I didn’t produce more and 3) one of my sons didn’t like bottles. Oh, and I was even more sleep deprived from getting up at a time when everyone else was sleeping (and not hungry for a while). I would not have had the ability to work and breastfeed. The mechanics of it just didn’t work for me… not for my body. Sorry if this is graphic, but this is a more graphic topic.

If you have to work with little flexibility, and you need sleep, and your body is saying ‘no’ to a pump- reject breastfeeding and make no apologies. Breastmilk probably isn’t going to make your child a genius or kind, or more evolved. You should be able to freely make your own choices, but your body is healing and it is probably not the best time to protest or to raise issues. Maybe.

Producing milk means having to make time to eat more, and on a more regular basis (If you have young children, then you know eating on a regular basis is already a practice you are learning).  Nursing can be a very painful experience, even when it’s done correctly? Maybe you are tender, or your baby is sprouting teeth, or he simply forgets that his “bottle” is attached to a person, or his nails are like knives. I mention this, because a woman needs time to take care of her body, especially if she plans on breastfeeding for the recommended year. This is much bigger than most people can understand. I never felt so tired and so isolated. I know people have strong opinions on this topic, but life leads the way, ultimately.

Looking back, I did a lot to nurse the boys. Most likely, I would do it again. However, it was hard and I stayed home a lot. I didn’t want to nurse in public and both of my sons were very heavy babies. I tried to feed them discreetly, but we are an awkward clumsy group. Plus, I wasn’t up for the looks, or opinions of others. Nearly all of the moms and dads I know in my neighborhood are very cool people, but the region isn’t very progressive. New parents are mentally drained as they learn, and usually aren’t looking to draw attention. I wasn’t, anyway.

Nursing while sleeping-I didn’t let my sons nurse while we slept. I learned that was how some moms got through nursing. I was too scared to sleep next to my infants. This is actually so very common, even though so many accidents happen this way. I did keep the boys in the room with me for a few months, simply because it was easier to feed them.

I don’t have any criticisms, just commentary. People do the best they can with the options they have or see. It’s also hard if our partners are not supportive or just don’t understand. I hope I am shedding some light on the choices( choices if we are like bulls), most moms/ parents deal with in regards to child rearing. I haven’t even started on the pressures felt due to family and the work place.

So, to sum it up- it was my experience that breastfeeding required a bullish and determined spirit. Equally important, is your life situation. I didn’t have to work outside of the house.

Make you own decision, stand by it, and don’t look back. If someone judges you or puts pressure on you to breastfeed or not, let them work through their own issues.  Their need to control you isn’t really about you. Truly. You don’t owe anyone anything.

Remember, to take care of yourself, it’s an important example.  It’s also safer to drive awake, rather than sleepy and hungry…

One more thing.  I see people continue to grow, open their hearts, and to make their own rules. Take that however you choose. I will only say, a lot of things are not as they seem…make your own choices with heart in everything you do.

GO Team PARENTS!!