My goal is for the boys to learn how to be in public without the gadgets.  There are always exceptions, to this rule.  Generally speaking, I try to find ways to help them be calm, and tuned into their environment.

If you are a new parent, try to notice what calms your child.  Little comforts help on longish trips or outings (or even to just the grocery store).

The list below isn’t anything profound, but it helps to have a plan, especially when you are tired or were not accustomed to small children.

I know some people will say that children should learn to “deal” earlier rather than later.  I think life has a way of ensuring we will all get tough lessons.  It’s no sacrifice to me to intend on a more measured and balanced childhood for my kids.

These are the things I’ve learned to do (or to avoid) while out with the boys.

1. Bulky diaper bags will get in your way as you chase your kids through grocery store aisles. Plus, those bags are heavy.
2. If it’s an option, they ride in the shopping cart.
3. Smallish backpacks with just the essentials for your outing, tend to be easier to carry.
4. Get your kid accustomed to having his diaper changed before an outing/ trip. Get older kids accustomed to going to the bathroom before your outing (yeah, the side of the road may still happen).
5. Lion cub kids need to be prepared for loud public restrooms. Talk to them about what to expect, specifically about the automatic flush toilets. My boys didn’t appreciate the surprise flushing action.
6. Strollers can make or break a trip. Strapping the boys down into a stroller meant peace, for everyone.  The boys were accustomed to it from the start. Strollers are heavy and fitting them into a car can be like playing Tetris- it was worth it (and it has helped to keep my weight down).  High energy kids tend to need help with their focus and listening skills. Keeping them in a stroller, helps to keep their attention less divided (with thoughts like do I run this direction or that direction).  It also  helps them to maintain a calmness.  Plus, they don’t get as tired and cranky, so quickly.
7. I don’t give them my phone. My phone is my space, and I don’t want them to get into the habit of being in a social environment checked out.  There were desperate times during their infancy, when I had to do something to calm them.  So, I played a baby video. It wasn’t the norm, and they know mommy doesn’t care for it otherwise.  It’s a nonissue for now.
8. For longer trips, or for occasions when I really need for us all to cooperate ( I want them to be quiet while I am doing paperwork and needing to hold a conversation with someone), I bring a small snack and a drink. I try to strike a balance with this, because I do not want to be bogged down by endless snacking and caring around the food they can become accustomed to.  It’s great to have them chill out without expectations.  I also know that I could be asking a lot of them, especially around nap time.  A snack, water, and maybe a small toy from home can be a life saver (while in a stroller). A lot of snacks and drinks marketed to children have a lot of sugar and junk, as ingredients. Sometimes, maintaining simplicity, is a good idea, with food. This tends to be easier to implement with infants or very young children.  However, I have seen teens become curious of vegetables and fruits, as long as they are able to have say in what they choose to eat, sometimes (let changes in meal plans go slow.  It’s about the long run.)
9. I don’t carry their toys– They hold them or figure out what to do with their own toys. It has helped them to realize what they really want to bring and, it helps to teach them that I am not hired help.
10. Things run smoother, if the boys know what to anticipate. When they come to my room in the morning, we talk about their night and about the day.  I remind them about what to expect throughout the day.  As they have gotten older, I have to remind them less.
11. Keep certain essentials in the car– a diaper, some wipes, extra pants/shirt, a hand towel (good for wiping wet shopping carts on rainy days, throw up or literally anything), small toy/book, extra sweater. You may never need this stuff, but when you do it’s a great feeling to know you don’t have to go back home. In the winter, the boys prefer sweaters or layers. I leave their jackets in the car, just in case.
12. If you are nursing your infant, don’t forget to bring extra milk. You can let it thaw on your dashboard.  Truthfully your breastfed kid may never take a bottle- mine didn’t if I was around.  It was a rough time…be prepared, emotionally and if you have family around embrace their help.
13. If you are nursing your infant, minimize your time out if you have to and, make no apologies. The energy it takes to sustain a child nutritionally, is so very underscored, by most people. Simply eating more doesn’t happen easily, while caring for a new child (especially when you are alone a lot).
14. Gracefully accept open doors. I’m just saying keep your spirit up. Sometimes we forget to smile or to even acknowledge that a stranger is reaching out to help. Seize the help.  Other people have no idea how long your days are, but there are still good people out there who want to help (simply because they want to help).
15. Talking to the boys while we are out or traveling, helps their mood. Plus, it helps their language skills.  Communication as a practice is a good thing.  I mention it because I think we need to speak to children more than we generally do. We even talk about food while grocery shopping.  This helps to focus their attention.
16. When visiting family/friends keep nap time. While some people don’t understand why I am stickler for nap time, I still think it has kept me sane through the years.  The boys need the down time and I need time for myself.  I am more than a mom.  It’s nice to be among people with your attention less divided. Traveling any distance with kids is hard enough without completely breaking routine. Shouldn’t parental relax time matter too?
17. When visiting family/friends keep timeout. I’ve noticed that my oldest son appreciates being corrected discreetly. He is still young and sometimes I have to intervene quick, but I respect that he doesn’t want me to remind him to share the toy trucks or building blocks, in front of other kids.  If I walk to him, kneel, and talk with him, he tends to hear me better.  My youngest son benefits from being redirected.  However, timeout works if all else fails.  Usually they are in timeout together, as they are usually co-conspirators.  Putting them together in timeout works better to calm them.  I think it’s because they see that they are both getting the same consequence.  So, there isn’t a feeling of “unfair” or preferential treatment.  I also think they still feel like they are on the same team.  Ultimately, I want them to feel closer to each other. No matter what, I want them to see each other as a part of the same team.
18. On long trips, my youngest preferred his playpen (play yard) instead of big strange beds. He is the type of kid that prefers to sleep under a bed, rather than on top of the bed. Have I mentioned that the boys are half rabbit? Like the stroller, the playpen was calming.
19. Don’t forget the little potty or stepping stool for the bathroom, when visiting people.  Children can be very uncomfortable with The Big Potty, so I try to keep things familiar while they are still learning.